Wow. Wow. Wow. I played my heart out today. I eventually got heads up at the second shootout table vs a random player. I definitely had the edge in heads up play. At 2k/4k he shoved ~80k with KJhh and I called with AKo and he turned a jack to double up. I then chipped him back down, got it in A6 vs 33 and lost that as well (2326A.) I butchered one hand real bad heads up and doubled him up. No biggie. We were about even going into 3k/6k. I chipped him down to 120k to my 330k and at 5k/10k got him all in with 57cc vs ATo. The board came 75463 and although I flopped two pair it went runner runner chop. He then shoved for 80k and I called with K7hh in the big blind. He had KJss. It came K79sQs2s. I thought I won lol. I didn’t see that he had hit the flush. After that hand got it in QJo vs A3 it came T87xx and I bricked that as well. He now had the lead in chips. I had 130k he had 320k. I jammed 89cc and he called with QTo. It ran out A92AT and I was eliminated from the tournament.

I am the 15th place finisher. There were 14 people who were going to play tomorrow for a bracelet and I was the last loser. To say I am disappointed is an understatement. I’ve been real deep in a lot of big tournaments, online and live, and this was the hardest one for me to take. I absolutely played the best I could and I still wasn’t able to win. It is definitely frustrating but it is also part of poker. I have to come to terms with that even if it’s hard to see how I’ve gotten so close for so long without it happening. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way. It’s a sick game we play. I really would have liked my chances tomorrow, playing shorthanded to start until we reached the final table. I think that would have given me a bigger edge in the tournament. This is the closest I have come to winning a bracelet.

What can I do? Well I registered for tomorrows $1500 NLH event. That is a start. I have to go to sleep and forget about tonight. My buddy Tim0thee is really good at disconnecting himself from the results of tournaments/hands. He plays a hand or a tournament and doesn’t worry about the outcome. I feel like I want it so bad that it’s hard for me to be exactly like that. I still have to control myself better and realize that no tournament is over until it’s over. I still have a lot to learn, but I’m learning. Tournaments don’t normally bother me, especially if I play well and do everything possible… but getting so close to a bracelet and losing heads up is beyond annoying.

Today was one of the most grueling days of poker I’ve ever played. I’m not sure why it was like that. I guess because it was a good structured shootout and there was a lot of thinking involved on my end lol. We played short handed for a long time as well as heads up for a couple of hours. I don’t know what else to say. I did my best, I still made some mistakes that there are no excuses for (one hand in general) and I’m really happy with how my game is progressing. Hopefully that big final table is coming soon and maybe a big win can come along with that as well. Sorry if this sounds like I’m complaining or whining. I am just typing what happened with my day and the tournament. That’s it for now… thanks for the support everyone. I wish I made Day 3 but that is in the past. Goodnight (I’m essentially the final table bubbler if this was a real 3x shootout lol… I would have killed the final 14!!!) Okay time to sleep and shut my brain off for a couple of hours.